Onion-Chives and Queens

There was a time when onion rinds
Cause the cat to cry,
And made the carpet turn to hair,
And help the pigs to fly!
But this was stopped; her eye was mopped,
And our solution was quite sly.

So, no more, for we've found it poor
To buy the onion whole,
And instead get quite ahead
And buy it in a bowl.
While it may be simpler today,
It's also good for the soul.

But some things, I'd like to say,
Are not made better when
You have someone do them for you
Again, and again, and again.
And one such thing in truth ring:
The writing of the pen.

And so I write with mad delight
A song of many scenes:
Of porcine birds and pretty words,
Of onion-chives and queens,
And how I love my sweetest wife:
The girl within my dreams.

And every day, I have to say:
No more onion-chives for queens!